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Officiant Address

Good evening to you all. Today we come together to celebrate the marriage of David Millar and Vaughn Mudrick. This is a day of love and great celebration, as we recognize and commemorate the bond and dedication shared between them. One of the best parts of life is being able to surround ourselves with people who we admire and adore, and if we are lucky, we have them for a long while. I have the pleasure of officiating this union today.  I'm Gregory, a part of Vaughn and David's chosen family; that's a big theme for today, and I, like many of you here, are friends that are fortunate enough to be in this family. 

I’ve been watching adoringly as Vaughn and David’s relationship has grown over the years, and it’s been a marvel to behold. I've had the privilege of spending time with them at their lovely home in a far off land called Texas. Their dinners and cocktails are second to none: The time spent, attention to detail, how they are so good to their guests, and of course the bantering in the kitchen are truly a marvel. Couples who can be in the kitchen together preparing for a dinner party will stand the test of time. Period. Vaughn and David’s respect for one another, teamwork mentality, and love for Ellie have made them a strong and formidable unit: one that I’m so proud to call my family. Everyone here has also witnessed their love prosper: This day is made possible by that love, and the support of all of you. 

Love is what we all share. It's the great unifier — our one universal truth.  No matter who we are, where we've come from, or what we believe, we know this one thing: love is what we're doing right. That's why you are both standing here. We have all loved in our lifetime, and in this moment, we're reminded that the ability to love is the very best part of being alive.

The time has come, today is the day. Our grooms met by chance, but they’re here today because they’ve made a choice: to be with each other. They’ve chosen to be with someone who enhances them, challenges them, makes them think, understands their flaws, and makes everyday worth trying for. 

The Officiant Addresses the Couple

As long as I’ve had the privilege to know you both as a couple, there is no doubt that the essence of love and of life radiates from within you together. Together your positivity and symbiotic nature are infectious, but in the same respect, you’re amazing as individuals.

I asked Vaughn and David a series of questions about each other to help me personalize this ceremony.  One of my questions was if they wanted me to include any specific quotes or passages. The response was a resounding yes, and they knew who right away: Vaughn’s favorite author: Kurt Vonnegut. Vonnegut’s ideals on humanism and human experiences in general have resonated with Vaughn and David as they examine their life together. Picture our grooms, not long after they first met, lounging on the rooftop of an apartment building, sipping champagne, deep in conversation. And so it was, the magnificently simple quote: “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.” What they’ve experienced and what they’d like to pass on to you all is to stop and acknowledge the good times: this has been something that circles back round again and again, and has become a self-declared credo of sorts. Enjoy the happy times: for instance, don’t save that bottle of really nice wine or champagne for a day that might not come. And remember to make a memory or a moment – to celebrate and find the joy in life’s smallest happenings. There is so much beauty around us, if only we see the world through brighter eyes. 

Happiness is what originally brought both of you together; it will continue to help you throughout your lives, and across dark times. You survived a dark time together, when so many couples did not. Coming into your world in early 2021, I got to see how you bonded through having so much time together, and what fun you had creating signature cocktails and having your monogram with two M’s interwoven which I see as a metaphor of your relationship. I think of how you struggled with social isolation, not being around any family or friends, but you had one another. 

When I think of our grooms, the words tolerance, patience, and acceptance, come to mind. Co-parenting Ellie throughout the pandemic and through multiple eye surgeries, and the big freeze, brought you all closer as a family: you both are her world. Being puppy parents has given you so much joy. 

It’s the little things that really show how compatible a couple is: How David prepares for both of them to go on vacation: the perfect way to pack Vaughn's shirts. How Vaughn makes David's cocktails just right. The idea of balance and harmony. It’s also fun to see how their backgrounds and upbringings differ from each other: New Jersey vs. Scotland: two lands, small but mighty, and full of fervor. 

Our grooms started their dating life right here in Asbury: one of their most telling responses to help form this ceremony is: “Our definition of a perfect moment together requires a few things: a comfortable chair, an elevated spot overlooking the water, champagne, and each other.” What else could we ask for? Tonight, in this beautiful building, is where they created  their first perfect moment together. A week before that enchanting evening, David and Vaughn serendipitously met in New York City. David was living in Brooklyn, and Vaughn was on a business trip in Manhattan. They hit it off on the first date, but then they encountered the challenges of proximity. Luckily, Vaughn was visiting friends here in Asbury the following weekend.  David, the poor dear, tried to be coy when inconspicuously wanting Vaughn to invite him: persistent and coy. And dear Vaughn was not catching on…

David: “I’ve always wanted to see Asbury Park, i’ve heard so many great things”

Vaughn: “Oh, cool. I’ll make you a list of things to see and do.” And before Vaughn could even suggest a time to meet, David said excitedly, 

David: “Well - I've already memorized the train schedule - I could be there by noon.” 

Persistence pays off. And the rest is history. Outside on the deck here at Watermark, is the exact spot where they knew they were meant for each other four years ago. 

To our dear grooms, throughout your lives, you’ll be there for one another at your best, at your worst, when you do great, and when you really don’t, when things are going well, and when things are not, when it’s time to smile, and when you can’t hold back tears. Each of you recognizes the other’s strengths and praises them, while motivating and supporting each other in areas of growth. David, you calm Vaughn just with your presence — Vaughn, you make David feel safe, cherished, and at home.  As the years pass by in your marriage, it can become easy to get lost in each other's faults — always remember what you love most about each other is your ability to make the other complete. I encourage you to take this next step together in the same fashion; love wholeheartedly, intensely, and without an end in sight. Love strongly, passionately, and extraordinarily as there are too many mediocre things in life; your love is not one of them. 

May the promises you make to one another today, be lived out to the end of your lives. Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys, but today is the day it all begins. Vaughn and David, do you, with your family and friends as your witnesses, present yourselves willingly, and of your own accord to be joined in marriage?

Declaration of Intent

Vaughn, do you take David to be your husband?
Will you love him, comfort him, honor him, and keep him from harm in sickness & in health; and forsaking all others, keep only unto him?

Vaughn’s response: I do (PLACES RING ON DAVID’S FINGER)

David, do you take Vaughn to be your husband?
Will you love him, comfort him, honor him, and keep him from harm in sickness & in health; and forsaking all others, keep only unto him?

David’s response: I do (PLACES RING ON VAUGHN’S FINGER)

To love and comfort one another for all of eternity…this is the stuff from which fairytales are made.  By the power invested in me through the Universal Life Church, I now pronounce you husband and husband; you may seal your love with a kiss. 

Applause subsides. Offering the first toast to the husbands. I’d like to raise a glass for our grooms: To a long and happy life. Now everyone repeat after me: “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.

Officiant Address

Good afternoon everyone. I want to welcome all of you to beautiful Somerset today, to celebrate the marriage of Anthony Dinardo and Brooke Kaufman.  This is a day of great celebration and reverence: Today,  we come together to recognize and commemorate the sacred love and dedication shared between these two wonderful people.  Anthony and Brooke would like to thank their guests for being here, and would like you to know that each of you were invited here because you have played an integral part in how their lives have intertwined. They have worked tirelessly over the last year to make today unforgettable — unbeknownst to them, they actually had to do very little to make it just that.

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Dana — Brooke’s prettiest, smartest, loveliest, older sister.  I’m one of three Kaufman sisters, wife to that handsome man right there, and Mommy to our amazing flower girl, Brooke’s niece, Carmela.

I’ve been watching adoringly as Anthony and Brooke’s relationship has grown over the years, and it’s been a privilege to behold.   Their respect for one another, teamwork mentality, and love of their families, has made them a strong and formidable unit: one that I’m so proud to call my family.   

All of you are Anthony & Brooke’s family and friends, who have also witnessed their love prosper over the last four years. This day is made possible not only because of their love for one another, but also through the grace and support of all of you.

As a wedding officiant, I have the privilege of overseeing the beautiful moment when two hearts are joined together — it is my greatest honor to be asked to facilitate this wonderful experience, and I thank you both from the bottom of my heart.  Just in case you were curious about my qualifications and previous officiating experience, I’m a thoroughly educated minister of the Universal Life Church, having earned my ordnance in only 15 minutes.

We also remember and reflect on those who cannot be with us physically today, or those who’ve passed on.  We think fondly especially of our Grandma, Arline Kaufman who left us only a few months ago — one of Brooke’s best friends, and one of the coolest ladies you’d ever meet.  Brooke, I know Grandma is blushing with happiness and pride looking down on us; she’s proud that you’re marrying someone as honest, kind, and as handsome as Anthony.  Not to mention, I know she’d say “You look BEAUTIFUL, sugar.”  

Love is what we all share. It's the great unifier — our one universal truth.  No matter who we are, where we've come from, or what we believe, we know this one thing: love is what we're doing right. That's why you are both standing here, and that's why your loved ones are here, in love and support for the bride and groom. We have all loved in our lifetime, and in this moment, we're reminded that the ability to love is the very best part of our existence.

The time has come, today is the day.  Today is a celebration; a celebration of love, commitment, friendship, family, and of two people who are in it for forever.  They fell in love by chance, but they’re here today because they’ve made a choice:  They are choosing each other.  They’ve chosen to be with someone who enhances them, challenges them, makes them think, makes them smile, and makes every day brighter. 

The Officiant Addresses the Couple

As long as I’ve had the privilege to know you both as a couple, there is no doubt that the essence of love and of life radiates from within you together.  Together your positivity and thirst for life are infectious, but in the same respect, you’ve been amazing as individuals.

I asked Brooke and Tony a few questions about each other to help me personalize this ceremony.  One of my questions was: “What did you first notice about one another?”  Both of them similarly answered “their smile, their happiness.”  I’m sure everyone can agree the two of you are the happiest, most positive people they know in their lives, and that’s why you gravitated towards each other.  Both of you are wonderful friends, colleagues, siblings, and children, always making people feel as delightful, silly, and loving as you two are.  As you start together on the journey of marriage, be sure to always remember that happiness isn’t measured in money or possessions, but in smiles, joy, and exquisite memories — especially when things inevitably get hard.  Happiness is what originally brought both of you together; it will continue to help you build throughout your lives, and help you across dark times.

I also asked Brooke and Tony “What do you love most, and what do you admire or respect about one another?” You answered collectively and with utmost certainty that the dedication and commitment to both of your families is what you admire most.  As most of you know, Brooke is Jewish, Tony is Italian, and when you really break it down — culturally we’re not that different.  We thrive on guilt, highly prioritize education, and are overwhelmingly close to our families — the Italians just usually have a better spread at meals.  But in all seriousness, to quote my dad, “Nothing is more important than family.”  Both of you are incredibly selfless, always there to help around the house, watch the kids, and most importantly — being there when we’re lucky enough to all get together.  Brooke and Tony — it’s important you know that Sarah, Alessandra, Bianca, Andrew, Ashley, Momma and Poppa Dinardo, Dad, Mom and Misuk, Aunt Karen and Sheryl, and all the Lolo’s and Titas, are always here for you too. 

They’re there at your best, at your worst, when you do great, and when you really don’t, when things are going well, and when things are not, when it’s time to smile, and when you can’t hold back tears. As of today, you’ll be starting on the path to build your own family together — in good time, (I know we have some anxious grandmothers in the audience).  We all can’t wait, and we look forward to watching you two form the next generation together, instilling the values of family in them as well.  

You also both noted how you bring out the best in each other.  Each of you recognizes the other’s strengths and praises them, while motivating and supporting each other in areas of growth.  Tony, you take Brooke’s wavering thoughts and fears and delicately calm them just by your presence — you make her feel safe, warranted, and at home.  Finding peace sometimes has been hard for Brooke, knowing she can find balance within you, makes her the positive Brooke we all know and love.  Brooke, Tony answered that as successful and driven as you are, you motivate him to always push to be the best version of himself he can be — probably because you know it’s within him all along.  As the years pass by in your marriage, it can become easy to get lost in each other's faults — always remember what you love most about each other is your ability to make the other better, no matter the circumstances.  It’s important throughout your marriage to take the time to continually recognize each other's brilliant qualities, and outstanding triumphs, as you construct your life together.

Lastly, I asked “What are you most excited about now that you’ll be married?”  I loved the way the two of you answered.  Anthony, you looked forward to the future, growing together and making a life with Brooke.  Brooke, you answered “knowing he’s all mine!” — everyday looking down at your ring as a reminder of how lucky you are to have him as your husband.  As someone who’s got a few years of marriage under her belt — let me share a few more things you can look forward to with your future partner:

1. Someone to consistently have to remind that the clothes go IN the basket, not NEXT to the basket — but someone who’ll start the laundry for you when you can’t seem to get it started yourself.  They will always be looking for the next opportunity to help you, and show you they appreciate you.

2. Someone who’ll probably rarely share the same interest in TV shows or movies as you, but is the first one to snuggle up and pop the popcorn, because it's what you love to do.

3. Someone who thinks you're beautiful or handsome regardless of the endless amount of work out/basketball shorts/ripped t-shirts you both wear - the same person who holds your sweatshirt tight when they miss you (and always comments how cute your butt looks).

4. Someone who loves to share your funny stories about how silly you are with your friends, because they can’t go one minute without smiling about how you make them laugh.

5. Someone who always forgets at least one thing when they shop for groceries, even if you send them a list — but they saw your favorite snack on sale and made sure you got it when they got home.

6. Someone who can recite everything you order when you order take out or fast food — because there’s nothing more that brings them joy than to ease your hanger.

7. Someone who spends and someone who saves — one who’s always conscious of the future and establishing the safety net, and the other who’s there to remind them that money’s no good when you’re dead — to take it, and make memories you can’t replace.

8. Someone for when you doubt yourself, who shows you you’re more capable than you give yourself credit for — leading you to the light, to help you recognize the same.

9. Someone who you already love as a human, husband or wife, and friend, and watching them become a father or mother to your children.  You’ll never be able to look at them the same, because before your eyes — they have become even more amazing than you could ever imagine.

10.Someone to always put you first — your dreams, your feelings, your wants and desires, because nothing is more important than seeing you peaceful, fulfilled and truly content.

Anthony, it’s not hard to see how Brooke fell so hard for you.  You are handsome, hardworking, and are always smiling and embracing life.  You infuse your life with passion in everything that you do from being a teammate, colleague, friend, brother and son.  You are kind, thoughtful, and considerate beyond measure. I am so thankful that Brooke found a person who fuels her spirit, embraces her dreams, and provides her with love and affection every single day.  I have no doubt in my mind that you’re nothing less than the best for each other.

Brooke, the thing I love most about you is that your loyalty is unmatched.  You’re the best youngest sister, Zia to Conrad, Emmie, Carmela, and Jack Jack, and a thoughtful, generous daughter to our amazing parents.  I know you’ll take all of these qualities into your marriage, being the partner Anthony not only needs, but whole heartedly deserves. 

This love was no accident; it was the result of a consistent investment of time, thoughtfulness, affection, mutual respect and commitment.  Brooke and Anthony, I encourage you to take this next step of your lives together in the same fashion; loving wholeheartedly, intensely, and with full force without an end in sight.  Love fiercely, love strongly, love so hard and full of fire that you cannot hold yourself back, because your passion burns brighter than your fears.  Love madly, passionately, and extraordinarily as there are too many mediocre things in life, and your love is not one of them. 

Embrace this feeling; “You will ask for a match and I will give you a wildfire. I don’t know how to love small.” Know your love is something to be reckoned with, respected and treasured. 

May the promises you make to one another today, be lived out to the end of your lives. Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys, but today is the day it all begins.

Sample Maid of Honor Speech

*Names have been changed 

Hi everyone! As most of you know, I’m Jill’s sister, and I’m honored to be making this speech tonight. As a fair warning, I am an accountant, so words are generally not my thing, but here it goes anyway…

Jill and I essentially grew up as twins, though she is a month and a week older. We possess the most fraternal twin relationship you could have. The “Biff” to my “Binky”.  She was always bigger than me so she looked like the big sister. In our family, she was probably considered the bad one growing up, but more likely the good one now. 

All our lives, we constantly confused people. Despite having the same last name, most people didn’t connect us together which was both good and bad. When we were very young, Jill was the popular one and I was more or less the extremely hyper class clown. In high school, she was JNCO jeans and I was tracksuits. 

We were always close growing up, but certainly fought like sisters do. Which means we got grounded...a lot.  It was kind of a running joke on the block.  In fairness, we were pretty destructive which our parents thought they could get around by locking us out of the house anytime they weren’t home. Which they did, a lot, and we broke in a lot.  Did you ever have one of those moments as a kid or maybe as an adult where you had instant regret?  Perhaps your life flashed before your eyes. Well, we did. That would be the day we chose to break in via a sledgehammer and pickaxe to the garage door. At first it was quite comical.  Mainly because in order to get the door to open the rest of the way, Jill took several steps back, and ran full force at the door to try to bum rush it open. At that point however, the lock was essentially useless, so the door flung open with ease, wood splintered everywhere, and Jill went sailing across the kitchen floor. At the time she reminded me of the baby seal performance we saw at Seal world. After the laughter subsided, the inevitable horror sunk in. It’s a miracle we are here today. Since then we have gotten a set of keys, and I’ve mastered the break in via a simple credit card.  

My sister was and will always be pretty stubborn and tough.  She used to arm wrestle guys, including my uncles, and at some points won—although they would say she was cheating...and knowing Jill, she probably was. She had to have her way, and she usually got it...She could be kind of relentless in that way, and a bit of a rebel.  In more recent years, she has mom-ed out, wifed out, and even churched out.  I don’t know what you did to her, Jack, but it seems to be working.  She’s overcome a lot, and I’m so proud of the woman she has become today. 

One of Jill’s best qualities is that she makes others feel comfortable and included. She is friendly, nonjudgmental and always has your back.  She’s authentic: Jill is Jill pretty much everywhere.

So as not to embarrass my sister—well, any further, I’d now like to say a couple of things about the bride and groom. 

Jill and Jack, congratulations, and I love you both. You guys have grown so much together in the last ten years. You’re a great balance, with Jill being the caring, emotional one, and Jack being the strong, silent type. My sister has been the glue for our family for a long time, and now she’s doing the same for her own family with the perfect teammate. 

Jack, thank you for being so sweet to my sister. I know Jack to be a hardworking, easy going guy who has always taken care of his family. I appreciate how much he makes Jill laugh on the daily. You’re both loyal, supportive, and loving. You went from best friends to husband and wife. There’s such a spark between you two that I know will only grow with time. I wish you guys many years of happiness, as you make even more memories, with lots of love, cuddles, and plenty of fireworks. 

Wedding Vows Sample: 

There are not enough words to express how much I hate public speaking, and also how much I love you. When you told me you wanted to write your own vows I started to have major anxiety even thinking about talking in front of everyone. But the more I saw how excited you were to do this, the more I knew I needed to do it for you. 

To quote our theme song, “Ain’t it funny how life changes. You wake up and nothing is the same.” It’s amazing how much life has changed since we started planning our wedding…

I’m not sure where to even begin. We have been together for almost six years now and have grown so much as individuals but also as partners. You have taught me to let go of things, relax and to just laugh at life. You truly are the other half to who I am, and force me not to take life so seriously, or to care what others think. 

If anyone would’ve told me when we first got engaged and started planning our wedding that we would’ve had our son standing up here with us, I would’ve told them they were crazy! But I couldn’t imagine him not being here to watch his mom and dad say ‘I do’. 

So babe, here are a few things I would like to promise to you... 

I promise to always try to be the best wife and mom. 

I promise to try to not get mad over things I cannot control.

I promise to not charge you more than 25 cents for every time you lose the remote or your phone. But let’s face it, at this point I think you owe the jar well over 100 bucks by now! 

I promise to love you and take care of you when you’re sick with a man cold, and think you’re dying.

I promise to let you be the one to always clean Oreo’s litter box, because I know how much you love to do that.

I promise to never lie to you unless it is next to you.

I promise to keep growing and changing with you. 

I promise to love you in good times and bad, in sickness and in health.

And I promise to always be by your side loving you and supporting you throughout this amazing journey as husband and wife. 

***

Being married is about finding that one special person that you want to annoy for the rest of your life. And lucky for me, I found you. 

Nicole, I stand here today in front of family and friends to vow my unconditional love and devotion to you. There are a million things that I love about you. You are caring, compassionate and beautiful. I love how you are honest and always say what’s on your mind and how you’re usually the loudest person in any room, unless. I love how passionate you are about your job and helping your students, and I love that you brought beautiful Oreo into my life. You have made me a better person in so many ways, and you really are my better half. 

And on top of all of that, you’ve given me and our families the greatest gift possible and the reason we are standing here today instead of June 21st, in giving us Owen. The last three months have been by far the best in my life. Words can’t describe how much I love that kid. I know you’re going to be the best mother ever to him, and to the four or five other kids we have. 

I promise to take care of you when you’re sick, and make you happy when you’re sad. 

I promise we will travel the world together. 

I promise to make you laugh everyday, even if you’re laughing at me. 

I promise to say I’m sorry when I’m wrong.

I promise to be faithful, supportive, and to always make our family's happiness my first priority.

I promise I won’t bring any cats home without your permission.  

I promise to always eat your delicious cooking....except your broccoli cheddar soup. We can go to Panera for that. 

I promise to tell you I love you every night before you go to bed.

I promise not to make you read during Passover Seder if you really don’t want to. 

I promise to be the best father possible to Owen and all of his siblings.

And lastly, I promise I’ll love you for the rest of my life. 

Examples of Real Estate Listing Descriptions:

1) Stunning Toll Brothers 5,400 square foot home featuring 5 Bedrooms and 5.5 Baths. This luxurious property is situated on a premier 1.25 acre lot in the desirable Enclave at Manasquan River. Step into the grand foyer showcasing an expansive floor plan, including 9 foot ceilings, recessed lighting, crown molding and wainscoting. A fabulous custom designed kitchen features a glorious center island, high-end stainless steel appliances, and a walk-in pantry. An expanded sunken family room with a cozy wood-burning fireplace, and a formal living room and dining room are perfect for entertaining. Separate in-law suite with a kitchenette, full bath, living room and bedroom is an added plus. Staircase leads to the master suite, two junior suites with walk-in closets, and an additional bedroom. An added feature is a large flex space or potential 6th bedroom. A side entry three-car garage and a huge full basement complete this amazing home. The front exterior has an inviting paver courtyard, professional landscaping and a seating area. The spectacular backyard backs into a private area of open land. Enjoy the extraordinary sunsets and sunrises under the pergola in this remarkable home!

2) When the sun sets on the bay…This home on a lovely lagoon has a gorgeous 2-way waterfront lot. Less than a 5 minute walk to the beach, it boasts 5 bedrooms & 3 baths, hardwood & porcelain tile floors, recessed lighting, laundry room, & an inviting front porch. The open floor plan is ideal, there’s natural light & spectacular views. The eat-in kitchen has Kitchenaid appliances, granite countertops, an artisan sink, counter seating & a breakfast nook. The elegant living room has a beautiful double-sided fireplace, & a separate dining room has 2 walls of windows. The main floor also has 3 bedrooms & 2 baths. Undoubtedly, the best part of this home is the 3 season room. A bonus is the double attic which can be turned into any space you need. The yard has room for a pool to make it your oasis. The house has recessed lighting throughout, Casablanca ceiling fans, Hunter Douglas blinds, a two car garage, first floor laundry room, Marvin Integrity windows, cedar impressions siding, a Timberline roof with a 40 year warranty, & plenty of storage. There is an American Home Shield warranty which can be transferred to you. So many possibilities for this home, where you can escape to the bay time and time again.

Sample Man of Honor Speech

Good evening. This moment has finally come. And don’t you all look wonderful! Our fairytale begins: Part one. A shy little boy, a sweet little girl, a brilliant smile, the chosen one. These sentiments depict a marvelous day in 1997. It was my first week in a new school. Natalie shared her scissors with me for a project, and we were friends from then on. I'm still captivated by that smile 22 years later. Side note: she ordinarily isn’t very good at sharing.

Today’s an extraordinary day. My sister said about mine and Natalie’s friendship years ago that we’re like brother and sister, a married couple—(celibate, of course), soulmates, and best friends all rolled into one. I’m so happy that my best friend has found an amazing husband. 

It can be hard describing someone you know so well, and especially because I got the side of Natalie that most didn't: when she’s kind, sensitive, and patient. For others…well, there are some things better left unsaid. But alas, she remains ever so lovely: Particularly with John by her side. 

Natalie and I spent hours in our own little world, just us two, precisely how we wanted it. Back then, I couldn’t convince her to play with the Barbie Dolls on the shelves in her room, in their display cases...she’d say, "Poodle, we can’t, they're collectibles." I caved in eventually… 

The years went by…Our nickname caught on. Though we can’t remember why we have the same one. Our life together: endless memories at the beach, shopping, seeing so many movies especially sappy ones, you trying to get me to work out in high school, our infamous road trip to Charleston even though you get so carsick, and the countless hours we’ve spent chatting about life. I can’t picture an aspect of life that’s meaningful where you weren’t there. In college Natalie and I had our English/Education study dates. When editing her papers I’d have to say, “Poodle, you can’t write how you speak.” She was never eloquent and fluffy. Such an Aquarius, so practical. 

Every Will needs a Grace, and I’ve had the prettiest Grace of all. “When she arrives, all eyes are upon her. When absent, she’s the subject of universal conversation.” I wish I could say I wrote that line…but I didn’t. At 21 our nightlife adventures began: naturally, she was desired by many, and dazzled even more of the gays. But tough shit for them, I wasn’t sharing my Grace. 

We’re still quite baffled over how often we think the same things at the same times, yet we have such opposite tastes. However, opposites do attract, and in John’s case, this worked out pretty well.

Part two of our fairytale is of course dedicated to the bride and groom: for today is their day, their place in the sun. But because I met John only a month after his wife, I thought to share this story with you. Side note: John, I adore you beyond comprehension.

John stumbled upon such a colorful piece of Natalie’s world at my birthday party, in 2013. We were in Liza Minnelli's old suite at the Empress Hotel. When we went downstairs to the club, he had guys buying him drinks at the bar while Natalie and I danced under the infamous bubbles. John was a dream, a good sport, and a keeper. Here we are in such bliss, six years later.

A woman’s gay best friend can be the greatest buffer and insight for any husband—we come highly recommended. John has become much more in tune over the years…I’m so proud. 

John helped Natalie to spread her wings. The first time in her life leaving her childhood home was to make a home with him. After helping them move in I thought, if they can make it through the first year they can handle anything. Well done to you both.   

It’s amazing how life changes…now with baby poodle who brings so much joy. You two are incredible parents. Playing house these past few weeks—all 3 ½ of us—has shown how much you’ve grown as a couple. How I’ll miss the silly songs we sing—all day long—and your amusing bouts of bickering. 

I speak for many when I say we’ve been lucky to have John in our lives. Thankfully he’s calm, collected, and easy-going with a great sense of humor—a perfect balance to his wife. John, thank you for always loving me as you have, and for sharing this very special lady with me.

John’s smile is beautiful, especially when he actually smiles for pictures. Two electrifying smiles for a beautiful couple. He is his wife’s curious counterpart...especially with his countless questions. We’re all thrilled that he popped the question when he came home from his trip last summer.

A toast to the bride and groom, I love you both very much. May you always see what’s in one another’s hearts as you embark on your journey as husband and wife, as parents, and as the best of friends.

50th Birthday Speech (The client’s birthday is actually in December but the surprise party was given a month early.)

My partner in life and in love does not take easily to compliments, which is precisely why I shower him with them even more. Thank you to everyone for coming here tonight, and attending a milestone birthday party for this gorgeous man, who as luck would have it, recently became a Scorpio.

Tonight we pay tribute to him for his birthday, and reflect a bit on his character. Happy birthday, my dear Michael, and congratulations on first gracing this world with your presence a REALLY long time ago. Luckily for all of us, you've acquired more than half a century of knowledge and wisdom! Now, it would be really fantastic if you actually remembered any of it.  Makes me wonder what the future has in store...

With such a long, seemingly endless list of compliments to get through, we’ll cover both what’s on the inside and also the outside. All these years with you have been so wonderful, and we are truly blessed to have each other and our four amazing children. 6 glorious years. My Michael…I just have to share with you all that he unfortunately and constantly questions himself!  Even though he really shouldn’t. 

I’d like to share some very true sentiments with you all...THE FACTS: 

• Michael, you are a great husband, son, brother, and friend; but as a father, you really do shine! 

• You are a healthy balance of kind and firm. We made it through the crazy years of having teens, and now it’s so great to see you with the kids as young adults. They still need you, just differently as they get older. 

• You PLAY like it’s your actual full time job. I love how you enjoy using all the crap you buy on Amazon, because of how it makes you so happy. 

• You are so emotionally in tune with the kids; you hurt when they hurt and feel their pain, you pick them up when they fall and encourage them to try again, you guide them when they need direction in life, and you celebrate their achievements when they succeed. It’s a marvel to watch you with them. You always make sure they know you love them.  

Any man can be a father, but it takes someone very special to be a dad; trust me, I know. Michael, you are truly magical in this role, and the kids are beyond blessed to have your love, strength, and devotion. 

My husband is such a unique and very noteworthy individual. An avid music lover, and a secret romantic. A retired police officer, who also happens to be an excellent cook, AND tremendously handy? In my world, before meeting you, that wasn’t really possible. Thank you for proving me wrong. Look at this man, breaking stereotypes across the board! I love everything that you cook, especially while we’re away on vacation in Cape May, so I don’t have to do it...But we all know who's the better chef.  

I am so proud when I tell you that it’s your dedication, your achievements, your constant desire to be more in life, and all your hard work that we are so grateful for. As a police officer, you fought to protect others with such bravery. After having to leave the force so tragically, you survived a nearly fatal accident, and have since become a successful business owner. Your life path was altered, but you’ve accomplished so much in five decades! But who's counting? You have provided for your family so well in every possible way, which you should be very proud of. It’s because of you that we have our beautiful world. 

I have to tell you the one sad reality of turning 50...the candles cost more than the cake. Growing together as a couple, I’ve noticed some things about you...The fact that you still want to play hockey truly baffles me...but in such a good way. I mean, your back goes out more than we do these days, and you still love to play. // But even at fifty, you really look fantastic, and as youthful as ever. Don’t worry about the gray hairs, it just means you’ve spent more time becoming wise with age. 

As your wife, I have to say PLEASE take care of yourself, without you, where would our family be? Seeing you in any kind of pain is such a nightmare and just breaks my heart. But it’s a testament to your strength, how well you went through all of that makes me admire you so much more. I’m just glad we got through all of that together. But I’ll be honest, no more heart attacks, and no more spinal surgeries...I’m far too young to not have you around…

I think the fun part about giving a speech for your husband is pointing out some of his cute little flaws that we just can’t get enough of at times. Michael, you are incredibly tenacious when you want something...and when you start arguing about something...damn...It’s the Sicilian in you.

I think it’s hysterical that YOU think you’re never wrong. Delirium is a funny thing. But all in all, we have to take the good with the bad, and I guess dealing with your adorable stubbornness is one of the lesser perks of being your wife. But there are too many other perks to count... 

 Helping others is in your DNA, the way you are always up for helping anyone in need shows how remarkably selfless you are. You don’t ask for credit or acknowledgement for these acts of kindness, and we pay tribute to you for them tonight. We owe you a debt of gratitude greater than you’d ever claim. The world is certainly a better place with you in it. You are so fun loving, and I adore your sarcasm. One of these days I’ll get you to see that the glass is half full...so thick-headed, you are. Thank you for being so wonderfully you. 

I know I speak for everyone here when I say we have all learned so much from you over the years, your body of knowledge is impressive, and oddly bewildering. You've brought such an immense amount of joy and adventure into our lives, and I’m glad to say that there’s never a dull moment. 

But all jokes aside, thank you for being YOU! It’s no secret that you had me at the first “hello,” with your piercing, sexy blue eyes and your confident masculinity...but really it was the flowers you had placed on the table for me. Thank you for sweeping me off my feet, for making it so easy to shower you with compliments, and for giving me the opportunity to tell you I love you tonight, and always: Love you too much. Here’s to fifty more years of absolute craziness, fun and supporting and encouraging each other through all of life’s thicks and thins. 

Thank you for making my world so beautiful. I’d like to toast to my love, and wish him a very happy birthday: my beloved husband, Michael, the most amazing man in the entire universe. 

The Alexander Artway Archive 

Many of the photos in the Artway collection display Artway’s Slavic family ties, and the importance of staying connected in such a disconnected world. These photographs united this family. Because of the effects of the revolution 1917 and ongoing civil war Alexander was separated from his family when he left Russia in 1919, and could not return for several years. 100 years later, a world pandemic and another war has caused yet another estrangement. With a great deal of perseverance, Artway’s daughter, Jeanette Artway Jimenez, managed to get in touch with her relatives and share this project in a war-ridden country across the sea. Despite the circumstances of such a disenchanted world, a family has been brought together again, to share in their history. The Artway archive proves the value of printed photographs which have stood the test of time. Alexander Artway's work is in the collection of the Philadelphia Museum of Art. We are currently represented in Toronto by the Stephen Bulger Gallery who has exhibited Alexander Artway's photographs at AIPAD. 

Finding Family Fragments

How do photographs meet photographs, 100 years later and thousands of miles away? The answer lies in a small box that was buried underground in a sewing machine in Russia for decades. These photos are copies of the ones that belong to Jeanette, who has worked for years to solidify her father’s legacy. The matching photos can be seen side by side in an exhibit last year titled, “Return to Gomel”, where dozens gathered to see Artway’s work in Belarus. Family ties are universal, crossing borders and cultures, in war and in peace. 

A Piece of History

Many of Artway’s photos are of places and objects that no longer exist in today’s world. These beautiful, everyday moments were captured by Artway along his numerous travels here and in Europe. A true Modernist, he had the foresight to highlight buildings, statues, and other marvels of architecture and art, which sadly were destroyed throughout the last century. He was also a great study of people: a single moment lasts a lifetime as we experience the people, clothing, surroundings, and natural landscape of his home land. 100 years later, we wonder what we can learn from Artway’s vision, and what pieces of our own culture do we want to preserve?

Sending Aid to Dawn Parker in a Great Time of Need 

*This personal campaign message helped to raise $5,000 on behalf of this client’s fiancé.

Dear Friends and Family,

I’ve started a campaign on behalf of a woman I know personally, and care for very much. Among Dawn’s many wonderful traits, one is that she is much too proud to ask for help. I’m hoping this will help after such an awful incident happened to her. Last week, her car, phone, computer, along with all of her work and personal things that were in her car, were all stolen. 

Dawn walked into a store and dropped her keys, and a thief grabbed them and jumped into her car as she ran after him. And the thief took off, even though Dawn pleaded for him to stop. Timing is everything. Dawn had just finished paying off her car a few months before. The night her car was stolen, she was on her way home from an interview for a second job to start saving money again now that the car was paid off. 

Dawn’s insurance will pay her a fraction of what her car is worth. I would love to be able to help her by reminding her that there are many kind people in this world. This campaign can hopefully be seen as a gift by showing that not all people are as awful as the man who stole so much from her: to show that there are people out there who are willing to help.

Since the theft, Dawn can no longer get to work, which means she cannot earn an income for the time being. Has no phone, no computer for work. Nothing...

After talking to the police, they said they have less officers working because so many have quit the force, and to make things even worse, their equipment to find stolen cars has been removed due to defunding. 

As Dawn’s partner, I'm helping her as much as possible on my own. I love her, but she’s very stubborn and feels terrible accepting help. I’m hoping that if she sees that a lot of people are only giving small amounts, then she won't feel as guilty. Dawn is a selfless woman who has such a beautiful heart. It’s so sad when awful things like this happen to such kind people. Dawn would NEVER hurt a soul. She deserves this help. She puts her heart into her work and works so hard. She’s one of those people who doesn’t ask anything of anyone, and doesn’t expect credit, praise, or recognition. 

Given the state of the world we’re in, I think it’s important now more than ever to show an ethic of care, a sense of comradery, and a gesture of empathy. As much as it pains me to share her personal details, I’ll paint the very vivid picture: Dawn can't even afford to get a new phone right now, and barely has enough money to pay for her living expenses this month, which is why she got a second job in the first place. After working so hard to pay off her car, just like that...it was gone, along with the essential items needed for her job. I am in disbelief that the thief who did this to her could be so heartless. 

I hope you all can try to put yourselves in Dawn’s position: how it felt to have such important items stolen in a flash. I really also hope that this campaign appeals to you to want to help her. Any amount will help. She needs to be reminded that not all is lost, and that there are people out there who can help put her back to where she worked so hard to get. Dawn will appreciate this kindness more than words could ever really express. 

Any money raised through this campaign will go to:

1. Covering what insurance doesn't cover on her car to replace it.

2. Paying for a rental car until it's paid back by insurance

3. Get her a new phone and a new computer for work.

The stolen car is a 2011 328 BMW Sedan all black, with tinted windows, and the plate number is LFH-3839/PA tag. Please call the police on the stolen vehicle. I’ve posted the photo of the police report and the case number of the crime, if anyone wants to read further or needs verification. 

All it takes is a little bit from some people to have a huge impact on one person's life, after having so much stolen from her. We ask that you please share this post. If it was shared with 1,000 people who gave even just $5, it would make all the difference in Dawn’s current situation. 

Please, show her that good people are still out there? If anyone deserves to be helped, it's this amazing woman. Thank you everyone, so very much.

Alice Psychic Receives Full Registered Trademark Status from the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office for Twinflame®

Are you the “runner” or the “chaser”? This, among numerous other questions will be answered from sessions with Alice and her TwinFlame® work. 

A True and Original Gift

In November of 2020, Alice acquired sole proprietorship of the TwinFlame® trademark. She has worked toward this goal for the last two years, and is overjoyed by the achievement.

Alice is the first person to practice a TwinFlame® reading. She created the concept for the trademark, which formed from her own methodology: The TwinFlame® sessions she offers are rooted in the combined teachings from her Romani Heritage, as well as her own studies of Vedic Astrology, Western Astrology, Alchemy, Sound healing, and Reiki.  

The TwinFlame Originator Is An Eighth-Generation Psychic

Alice spent her entire life learning and fostering her gifts and abilities through hands-on training from relatives. In order to help her clients find their TwinFlame®, or “ultimate romantic partner,” Alice must “access what's known as their Akashic Records which is like the book of our lives. In these records, that's where the information of your TwinFlame® is stored.” Unlike most other psychics who only read “surface energies,” Alice delves deep into the Akashic Records, and gains access to the “blueprint for clients’ healing.” 

Alice Offers A Five-Week Course To Lead Others Along Their TwinFlame® Journey

Following the initial TwinFlame® session, Alice works with clients in order to discover if they have already met their TwinFlame® in this lifetime. Through vast “soul discovery” and a “series of healings'' one can truly benefit from Alice’s gift. Along this spiritual journey, Alice will also demonstrate “how to connect with your TwinFlame® in the Astral Plane and begin your soul discovery.” Understanding oneself is vital to making this discovery. To successfully manifest a TwinFlame®, one must also understand the concepts of “the aura, chakra system, along with the importance of color, frequency, vibrations, and Energy Alchemy.”

As the original TwinFlame® specialist, Alice started these sessions in 2008 and became known as such on social media by 2013. She has since helped 112 clients find their one-and-only Twinflame®. This week, Alice reached 240 thousand followers on Tiktok, with her posts hitting 2 million views. 

About Alice Psychic: 

Alice Psychic is based in Houston, Texas. Throughout her years of training she has become a Certified Reiki Master, a Certified Angel Reader, and Therapy Practitioner. She is also trained in Distance Healing for five years, as well as the study of Energy Alchemy. 

Alice Johnson is best known as @AlicePsychic, or the “Psychic Next Door.”

Alicepsychic.com

Justice for Cindy

The things people will do for money.  

The evil mind of the money-grubbing stepmother of Cindy is a story worth telling.  Cindy grew up as a classic rich girl in Beverly Hills.  Although her parents gave her everything, she still kept her modest and caring nature, which would eventually work against her.  

Cindy’s father Benny was a businessman who often traveled, and his wife was the quintessential homemaker. They lived a life of bliss, with their only daughter Cindy. When Cindy was ten years old, her world fell apart when her mother got sick with a heart condition.  She couldn’t beat it, and Cindy had to say goodbye to her beloved mother. Cindy’s father was devastated, and spent much of his time working in order to take his mind off his wife’s death.   

Another eight years went by, and Cindy grew up to be a lovely young lady.  She became accustomed to her life being simply her and her father.  Benny went on an extended business trip to New York one summer, and when he returned, Cindy’s world would once again be turned upside down. That’s how Benny met Marcy.   

Marcy was recently widowed and had two daughters close to Cindy’s age. Benny didn't know how Marcy’s husband died, and he didn't think to ask. He thought it would be best to just bring Marcy and her daughters home to Beverly Hills, and have Cindy meet them there. Cindy didn't even have an opportunity to talk to her father about his new bride.  

Being that Cindy was a sweet young lady, she didn’t openly show her dislike for her new stepmother and her conceited stepsisters. Cindy’s life was invaded by the three witches from New York, but there was nothing she could do; she loved her father too much to tell him the truth.  

About a year later, Benny became very sick.  It was an on-going process that began just a few months after Marcy’s arrival. He began to have massive stomach problems, and his health declined from there.  Marcy of course played the role of the loving wife, and she took over the cooking of all his meals, leaving the trusted cook out in the cold.   

One rainy afternoon Cindy went into the kitchen to get her father a cup of tea.  She came in quietly and so her stepmother was unaware that Cindy was behind her. Cindy saw her stepmother pouring a small amount of rat poison into her husband’s soup.  She made him that soup for dinner.  It all made sense! Cindy, in a furious rage, attacked her stepmother from behind and the two got into a heated brawl.  As determined as Cindy was, she was no match for the evil Marcy, and so poor Cindy ended up with a concussion. While Cindy was in the hospital, Marcy told Benny that she tried to attack her, and so Cindy was kicked out of the house.   

Cindy knew that Marcy was slowly killing her father, but she had no one who would believe her.  She was thrown out of her house, and couldn’t talk to her father to tell him her side of the story, and most importantly what she had witnessed in the kitchen. She was too late. Her father had passed away before she could get to him. Marcy got him to change his will, and left Cindy with nothing.  

When she got out of the hospital, she did what any girl would do in her position; she went to a party to get her mind off her troubles.  

The annual masquerade ball was one of her favorite events to go to. While at the ball she met a very handsome man named Larry. Larry saw how upset Cindy looked and she told him her situation.  Larry was a powerful attorney in Beverly Hills, and he decided to help Cindy. Larry found out that Marcy’s last husband, and the three before him, had all died of the same mysterious illness that normally doesn’t fall upon perfectly healthy rich men. Marcy was put on trial, and went to jail for murder; her daughters got off scot-free, but were left penniless. 

Larry had saved the day, and restored Cindy with what was rightfully hers.  Justice was served, and in the meantime they fell in love and Cindy got her happily ever-after. 

The Exile Mission

André Schiffrin’s book, The Business of Books: How International Conglomerates Took Over Publishing, tells the story of a famous New York City publishing company. Exiles from Europe experienced Pantheon Press’ “traditional American isolationism” even though they worked diligently to issue translated French and German works. Schiffrin’s book includes a review from the New York Times which praises Pantheon Press for not publishing “a single trivial or merely popular title, not a book chosen primarily because of its profit-making possibilities.”

During the early years of Pantheon Press, translated books from German and Russian were considered taboo to publish post World War II. The mentalities of these exiled European intellectuals were so progressive, and their brave mission was finding “what aspects of their culture might be accepted by American readers.” They had to create a new cultural base while upholding the classics they loved from home.

Schiffrin had the privilege of meeting and conversing with some of Europe’s most renowned intellectuals because of his father’s social and professional connections. His father was among the many European Jews who relocated as a result of Nazi occupation. World War II caused a cultural separation between America and Europe which was partially mended by European exiles living in America. America’s isolation needed to be dissipated after the pressing wartime infiltration on culture and the arts.

The intentions and accomplishments of these exiles made New York City a haven; a base for a new cultural and intellectual beginning. The work and efforts of the “genius row” pioneered this addition to the American intellectual realm. With the monetary support and somewhat invasive behavior of Mary Mellon, Pantheon Press included more of the humanities and social sciences of Europeans and Americans to comprise “some of the most beautiful books ever published in the United States.”

Within twenty years it was the end of an era; all good things must come to an end, particularly because of creative differences. One half of the Pantheon team thought to go back to Europe. The American half of this cultural giant ended up under the umbrella of Random House—a new mission can always be possible with enough passion.

Schiffrin depicts the atmosphere of Pantheon’s “second generation” based on his personal experience working for the company. He points out a deficiency: because “the firm was being run by the people who had previously been in charge of production and sales—well intentioned and agreeable men who, however, lacked the editorial skills necessary to maintain the level of books for which the list had become known and that Random expected it to continue publishing.” The challenge of finding more intellectual books to uphold Pantheon’s reputation in 1962 was difficult because of the lingering American attitude, still quite devastated from the McCarthy era.

Intellectualism must survive cultural blows. Schiffrin’s book shows how difficult the journey is when a respectable publishing company is faced with such adversity.

Expressionist Ideals and the Kafkaesque in Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis

Kafka’s use of literalization is a multi-faceted decision. This device and “Kafkaesque” element relates to the movement of Expressionism because Kafka shows an internal feeling that manifests externally. Making Gregor into an insect is a stylistic technique of distortion, while showing the dehumanization of nature: what would it feel like if we were insects? This idea links to the Expressionist preoccupation with the modern city, and how people who lived in rising industrial cities at the turn of the twentieth century can resemble insects: they were in a set routine almost as if they conducted their daily lives without noticing their distance from a natural world. 

The other “Kafkaesque” element in this story is the grotesque humor of the absurd.  As a giant insect, Gregor is indeed absurd and also grotesque, and so are the reactions from his family. An unknown force out of Gregor’s control causes his metamorphosis, making him appear as he felt on the inside.  Gregor feels dehumanized because of the emotional distance from his family, and a lack of a connection to his job. Kafka manifests these inner truths externally, with the irony of how human beings can be parasitical.  

 A Clashing of Artistic Ideals: The Impact of Duchamp’s Readymades

Marcel Duchamp’s Readymades are considered to be avant-garde because they’re different from other previous artistic ideas and movements. For everyday objects to have artistic qualities was a new concept to those who felt that art was in the form of painting, sculpture, etc., that were created by artists as one-of-a-kind pieces. The avant-garde undermines the status or institution of “bourgeois art” because the upper class tended to appreciate more conventional forms of art.  Many in this class rejected Modern art at the beginning of the twentieth century because it defied tradition. With his Readymades, Duchamp pioneered the idea to use items that were mass-produced and seen daily by many people. It’s difficult to determine whether Duchamp’s Readymades are truly art because art (in any form) is in the eyes of the beholder.  His creativity and expectation for these objects to be seen as artistic, make them a form of art in themselves. 

The “Fountain” was introduced in 1917, and is considered a Readymade because it’s a urinal from “the everyday bathroom.” The “Fountain” stands out from Duchamp’s other pieces because it comes from a more privatized sphere than the “Bicycle Wheel” or “Bottle Rack.” The piece is a “very low-class urinal…Apparently the lower type that was used in prisons.”  Perhaps Duchamp chose this model on purpose to mock his upper class spectators.  Duchamp was ahead of his time when displaying this piece because the subject wasn’t discussed publicly. As decades go by, the “Fountain” leaves “many museum visitors truly bewildered,” despite having lost some of its shock value.  

Another subjective idea is posed by the question, once art is made public, is it still transgressive? Pieces of art are only thought to be avant-garde until they’re generally accepted. People in more recent decades view the “Fountain” as a different representation of art, being ahead of its time, or maybe not considered artistic at all.

Duchamp’s pieces represent an age of technical reproduction in a modernizing era. His decision to rotate the “Fountain” 90 degrees helps the piece to remain more mysterious; perhaps this keeps it transgressive.  Other forms of art which were new for their time can lose their transgressive qualities, but may not for those who have yet to see them. The “Fountain” along with the rest of the Readymades partially destroys the “aura” of art. Because these objects are mechanically mass-produced, they lack the aesthetic qualities of fine art: creations by artists themselves, in an original, unique state. 

A Media Convergence Confliction

“New media technologies” allow individuals and groups to easily merge their ideas. Culturally speaking, this extends to employment opportunities and effects the economy as media forums continuously expand. In his article “The Cultural Logic of Media Convergence” Henry Jenkins discusses how media convergence negatively impacts our society, particularly the millennium generation.  The “lowered production and distribution costs” are a perk but do not divert the truth that so many of America’s youth spend too much time on their phones, computers, and the many other forms of technology available: This consequently puts people behind these devices, and depletes the art of interpersonal communication.  Jenkins’ idea of “fragmentation” in culture impacts the millennium generation who don’t know any other way of life.  The main point here is that “Media convergence is more than simply a technological shift. Convergence alters the relationship between existing technologies, industries, markets, genres, and audiences.”

I was a teaching assistant for college freshman seminars on communication in the millennium generation. It astounds me how so many people in that age group have little to no communicative skills because they hide behind technological devices.  All of the audiences that Jenkins refers to have different interests. Due to increasing technological advancements and globalization of media access, it becomes even more impossible for any society to have “shared values and common culture.” I’m not saying that we should all have these things, however, increasing  convergence and interaction allows for a great deal of negativity; the media will always be a double-edged sword, and the blade cuts deeper as the millennium generation attempts to bring a diversely opinionated world together.  

The all-time high of media and its convergences have robbed us of the simplicity of life—knowledge is power until it lowers interpersonal communication skills and provides too much too soon.  We are living in a world of too many choices and too little constructive inspiration.  With news and media coverage being so readily available, along with the cultural expectations they bring, our society is controlled too much.  This control comes from the minute group of people who own the media monopolies.  People spend way too much time reading and watching the proposed standards of others in a privatized sphere.  It’s nearly impossible to have a view on something without it being combated by others, and too much information is given without enough substance.  Our society has allowed the decline of interpersonal communication skills by advancing technology and infiltrating the minds of so many people.  The minority who owns so much of the world’s media keeps the rest of the population down, yet opens new doors of thought; sadly, the cultural results are not as useful as the technology itself.  

A frightening reality for us is to live in a society where the “collective intelligence” comes from a single subjective source. “Consolidation in the mainstream” seems like too much control, so the issue of hearing all voices (despite the huge spectrum of appropriateness) remains the better alternative.  If only we could sensor those who add nothing positive to media by exuding hatred for others, and those who insist on contributing to our intellectual decline. That, however, is to surrender to a single voice of reason, and so the power of selective reading and viewing prevails—individual choice sustains only by the individual voice.

The Gift of Literature: Ideas on Lewis Hyde’s Book, The Gift

Literary works can be seen in a different way. After reading Hyde’s numerous examples of what gift-giving is, including the different practices of exchange, his discussion of literature as a gift makes much more sense.  I think of this exchange for writers who’re paid for their work and also those who aren't. Most authors write amazing works and are never recognized for them; they spend countless amounts of time creating and the result is to try and have these works published. Hyde makes a good point about the reality of this process for the many who’re “paid for writing of literary merit, and the fees are rarely in accord with the amount of labor…” Despite this unfortunate fact, in many ways these works are gifts for readers (regardless of the size of the readership) to enjoy and take something from. The obvious distinction for well-known authors is their material gain. These works are also gifts for readers, but sadly, not every author can reap such benefits. The monetary element can be seen as a part of the exchange process as a gift for the author.  

As we move forward in the world of publishing and all its uncertainty, it helps to look at the whole picture in a more positive light.  These aspects of gift exchange come from the sociological principles which involve the way that people see different types of exchanges. Hyde also feels that ideas can be seen as gifts.  He discusses this point in relation to the scientific community, but really it applies to any area.  Every idea we come across from a writer is a gift because it enlightens us to a new thought. This extends to the online writing community who constantly share ideas back and forth. The same of course goes for things like book clubs or poetry readings; people in these groups all have a common interest which stems from a shared idea or thought process.

All of these ideas are gifts within themselves.

The Party Punk Princess 

Lauren McFadden, (GnarLaur) is the lead singer and songwriter of the Party Punk band, Trash Knife. She came to Philadelphia ten years ago from a small mountainside town near Centralia, PA. 

After experimenting with the music scene, that golden opportunity came along two years after when GnarLaur was asked to audition to be a singer for a startup band; she was told her “wild and rowdy, rambunctious persona” would be a great fit with the band’s vibe. From there she started writing lyrics. For GnarLaur, the art of being on stage means “self-expression, having the opportunity to be vulnerable, and truly representing yourself and what you want to say.” 

GnarLaur found herself as a musician through skate-boarding and going to local shows. She was a drummer in her first band four years ago. Things fell apart, and Trash Knife formed and transcended to this point with their first record release in 2016. 

After playing only six shows in Philadelphia, Trash Knife got their European label and tour, where they flitted through ten countries and performed in a different city every day for five weeks. As a Party Punk band, Trash Knife expels “fun fast rifts with seemingly light topics that always go deeper: essentially the vibe is all about having a good time.” 

GnarLaur never played music growing up, and it seemed unattainable to even try. There’s never a good time or a perfect time to start something. For GnarLaur, the greater part of the journey is doing everything “that at one point, may have seemed impossible.” 

MX. EVERYTHING: Opposed to the Typical

For spectators, judges and contestants, Mx. Everything doesn’t defy social and gender norms—it sustains new ones. The diverse nature of this variety show allows for an eclectic group of contestants to truly exude their individuality, while fulfilling the criteria for each week’s theme. The contestants faced these challenges, for better or worse. From singing, to comedy, to impersonation, to expressing ideas with costumes and props, each performer was critiqued based on the comments and feedback of a seasoned panel of judges.

Across 12 weeks the group of 20 contestants dwindled down to a winner, with surprise twists, audience votes for comebacks and increasingly greater obstacles to overcome. Each show has been even more memorable and spectacular with the entertaining and original musical numbers of emcee, Eric Jaffe. Thank you to the cast and crew for making Monday evenings at National Mechanics so exciting.

LIKE THE COLORS OF THE RAINBOW, OUR LIVES WILL BLEND IN LOVE

Not even the pouring rain could dim the shine they felt that day. National Mechanics had the pleasure of hosting a variety show after the Pride Parade and festivities at Penn’s Landing. A packed house of guests enjoyed the musically comedic stylings of emcee, Eric Jaffee, and performances from Vincelle, Big Red, Btrixx Starr, Lisa Lisa, and the show’s producer, Josh Schonewolf.

These performers have frequented the venue over this past year, for the first monthly drag show series Old City has seen in years. Eleganza Extravaganza broke the mold and brought such a fusion of people together from near and far. These shows included audience participation, and hysterical content written by performers and hosts alike. The show was nominated at the annual award shows for Philly’s Drag and Burlesque communities in 2018, as well as being featured in Philly Gay News.

These celebrations for the 30th anniversary of Philly Pride were a reunion for performers and spectators: An eclectic crowd, unity and solidarity, and truly amazing talent. A fabulous time had by all.

STEM Across Our Region

Esperanza engages communities across the city through a variety of science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) focused opportunities which are designed to prepare the next generation of STEM professionals. Currently, the Latino community only represents 2% of the STEM workforce. Latino students regularly score below the national average on standardized tests in math and science, and their numbers are understated in undergraduate and graduate STEM programs.

To address this ongoing issue, both Esperanza’s College and Housing & Economic Development Department formed strategic partnerships with The Franklin Institute, Drexel University, The Society of Hispanic Professional Engineers, and others. These resulted in Discovery Days and Star Parties to our neighborhood, which exposed our students to new and educational resources.

During the summer break, seven middle school girls from Esperanza Academy applied to the Women in Natural Sciences (WINS) program at Drexel’s Academy of Natural Sciences. More than half of the applicants were selected as finalists. WINS mentoring and support resulted in 96% of the student participants attending college. The program includes eight weeks of local environmental exploration and concludes with a week-long trip to the Poconos for workshops.

A co-hosted event for Esperanza Academy High School students, College students, and STEM professionals provided hands-on demonstrations for activities like building a solar car, constructing a bridge, and making flavored lip glosses. The college students gained experience working with STEM experts while the high school students got to see STEM content and related fields.

A solid foundation in math and science is essential for students to have the skills, knowledge and passion they need to enter undergraduate STEM programs. Our students also have many opportunities to explore STEM fields through Esperanza Academy’s programs, majors, and extracurricular activities. This well-rounded and rigorous curriculum integrates technology into all core subject classes. Exposure to the sciences from this age sparks the curiosity that leads to careers in STEM.

AMLA: Bringing Music to Life

Artistas y Musicos Latino Americanos (AMLA) is a non-profit arts organization located in Philadelphia. AMLA, established in 1982, promotes the development, dissemination and understanding of Latin American music and culture throughout the region. Over the course of two semesters totaling 35 weeks, AMLA offers classes in small groups and individual lessons for students as young as five years old. The curriculum includes instrumental instruction for piano, Puerto Rican guitar, drums, violin, Latin Percussion, and voice. There is a component of music theory where students are introduced to its rudiments and study music notation. AMLA also offers sound engineering lessons including essential concepts, principals, and terminology.

Students can participate in performance ensembles throughout the year including Latin, Jazz, Strings, Percussion, and Children’s and Youth Choir. These groups have performed at the 30th Street Station, Chinatown, The Philadelphia Museum of Art, and in The Philadelphia Festival for Young Musicians at The Kimmel Center: they were the only groups trained in Latin music. In order to maintain stronger ties in the AMLA community, our alumni are involved with recruiting new students, and attending performances. AMLA Graduates have had a 100 percent college acceptance rate for the past four years, with many continuing their journey as musicians.

The Twenty-Year Game of Chess

John B. Thompson’s Book, Merchants of Culture: The Publishing Business in the Twenty-First Century, depicts the developing feud among two publishing power houses. In the match between Barnes & Noble versus Amazon, there have been many strategic moves made since the late 1990s. Halfway into Barnes and Noble’s growing reign, they were invaded by Amazon: the old versus the new and the decline of the bookstore experience. Many of the blows to Barnes & Noble are consequently based on their own moves. For a long time, Barnes & Noble was seen as the bully who took the lunch money from many smaller and more vulnerable bookstores, and now they’re at the mercy of an even bigger foe.

A decade of many changes comes with countless ironies as we look at how Barnes & Noble—the once giant of the bookstore world—is being tactfully usurped. It’s important to lay out some of the moves made by Barnes & Noble that have counteracted their more victorious ones over the last ten years. This game is within the parameters of the book retail landscape. By the end of the 1990s, Barnes & Noble “Sought to make the experience of buying books easy, unthreatening and enjoyable for individuals who were not accustomed to going into a traditional bookstore.” This mentality also enabled the enemy to do the same—the main difference is in the convenience of Amazon’s customers being able to buy books online during the rise of the millennium age.

By 2003 Barnes & Noble became involved in publishing by “acquiring Sterling Publishing...a nonfiction trade publisher.” By expanding to the publishing realm, they consequently gave this idea to Amazon who now also publishes books—this seemed like a great retail strategy at the time, but how fast things change. By 2009 “Barnes & Noble entered the eBook market by launching its own eBook reader, the Nook, and selling eBooks from its website.” Interestingly, book sales have been declining since 2007. Are we seeing a pattern here? Was the choice to advance technologically really an advancement? Did Barnes & Noble think that the eBook explosion wouldn’t potentially come back to haunt them?

Jump back to 1997: “Barnes & Noble watched the rise of Amazon with growing concern, and in March of 1997 it opened its own online bookstore, b&n.com.” Their original strategy of setting up huge bookstores so “they could stock more specialized books and more slow-moving blacklist titles than the mall stores” has been counteracted and slowly crushed by Amazon. Now these books and many more are available through Amazon despite the efforts of b&n.com. Within two years sales were booming—also short-lived. Amazon’s preoccupation with “the customer experience” has proven to be successful considering how by 2006 they held “70 percent of the online book market.” The last six years show Barnes & Noble losing the game: How can they stay on board?

A Review of Guillaume Apollinaire’s 1917 lecture, “The New Spirit and the Poets”

In “The New Spirit and the Poets,” Guillaume Apollinaire strongly upholds that the Modernist view of poetry began in France. Many of the ideas of poetry during this period model those seen in the Romantic era: to examine the self and exude a more free and natural state of being. The rejection of the Romantics is seen in the Dadaist aspect of a lack of poetic form, which expresses freedom of thought without the “narrow limits” of subjectivity, conventions, or expectations. This exploration of poetry is avant-garde and shows “the art of life, which is called progress...”

Apollinaire emphasizes using the imagination when freely stating one’s ideas. It’s interesting how the Dadaist manifesto shows a desire for chaos, yet Apollinaire stresses how the “new spirit” is meant to be displayed oppositely. These beliefs of a new outlook on poetry are not harshly imposed upon others, but rather in a peaceful way to avert added chaos. Apollinaire says, “the new spirit asserts above all an order and duty...and to them it adds liberty.” The French were pioneers in this new ideology of poetry, making it unique and stylistic. The true aesthetic purpose of this movement in a modernizing society was a culmination of a lack of radical expression, along with the exercise of modesty.

The Phenomenon of Online Communication Causes a Great Deal of Confusion

With regards to social networking and blogging, the intentions of words and ideas can change from writers to readers. Clay Shirky’s book, Here Comes Everybody: The Power of Organizing Without Organizations, outlines the relationship between one’s original voice and the result of “user-generated content.” Posting online in general, particularly the sites where people simply post their ideas daily, has such a wide range of audiences. Many people post everyday about so many different ideas, yet those ideas may only reach a handful of people. When the numbers are laid out it makes you stop and think: “dozens of weblogs have an audience of a million or more, and millions have an audience of a dozen or less.” More importantly is Shirky’s point about how the random content that is posted every day on many sites lacks any sort of publishing conventions.

The reality of social media is the fact that people can blog, post, tweet, etc., whatever they want, no matter how trivial, because they don’t have an intended audience. Aside from celebrities or other well-known people with a huge online presence, those who publicize their thoughts do so without always thinking of who’ll be reading. The average person may simply be thinking aloud for no apparent reason, but their thoughts are now for others to see. Shirky says, “We place considerable value on messages that are addressed to us personally, and we are good at distinguishing between messages meant for us individually and those meant for people like us.” The exception to the rule is what is posted by celebrities who are followed by millions of people that find some personal value in what those with an “elevated status” think, feel, and believe. When we read the posts of our friends or family members, we see how they feel and have an easier time relating to them, as opposed to the inside thoughts of random people we don’t know—so much content consequently loses its originally intended meaning.

Shirky’s comparison between talking on the phone and posting online shows how communication has changed; in the past, any form of media only had a one-way path of communication. Talking on the phone remained an interchangeable exchange, and now anyone online can respond to others. It’s so surreal to think of how our ideas are so exposed...but that’s how we want it to be once we make them public. In many ways social media platforms have lost their original intention of serving as a sort of online diary. The majority of the content posted online is merely a hodgepodge of present thoughts—once again technology prevails over our capacities as humans.

The Two Faces of Online Publishing

Douglas Rushkoff is a media theorist. His book, Program or be Programmed, is a culmination of his works. The reality of a publishing conglomerate with coercive and entrenched power has faded fast. People make decisions to instate power and then decide what they can do to get around it. This is not a time for writers to be obstinate, but rather to conquer the obstacles to make one’s work known. We’re always a step behind as we move ahead: It’s a choice not to have a choice. Self-publishing online after building an audience is a way to bypass the agency and traditional publishing process. Rushkoff’s insights are perhaps dismally accurate regarding economic issues, viral internet happenings, etc., but he’s still optimistic about the future.

Programs can be publishing conglomerates, literary agents, or corporate interests. There is a steady collapse of the general traditional publishing industry because of the advent of new media. There is no value in pure rejection: If one has something to say, there are so many ways to say it. For example, if a self-published author doesn’t like blogging and having an online presence to build a readership, they can have book readings. Social media sites in general are more bias toward articles than websites, and toward rumors instead of facts. Rumors can be reposted because people mostly take facts at face value. Interpersonal communication for an author is sometimes more beneficial than trying to network and share their work through social media, but social media is the more practical way to reach a larger audience. What then is the right choice?

‘Lot’s Daughters’: A True Drama

‘Lot’s Daughters’ is a unique and unordinary stage production. The story takes place in rural Kentucky in the 1940’s, and touches on subjects within a region that many people would not discuss openly. The music helps to set the tone: mostly dramatic and somber. To correlate with this is the mood of the lighting, so beautiful and dark to echo the raw emotions throughout the story. The Characters of Gertie and Waincey capture the hearts of the audience from the start.

After he had to go off to war, she’d be left alone.

All they had was one another once their parents passed away. Waincey decides to get married. A huge and unexpected plot twist is that Gertie falls in love with her sister-in-law, Susanna, as they live together over time. Susanna’s character is complex from the beginning. She comes from a broken home with a father who sells her into marriage in exchange for a hog.

Gertie is determined to help Susanna improve her self-esteem and discover a sense of worth. As the plot progresses, we find out that Susanna is against going to church meetings because she was raped by her minister, and her family and members of the congregation chose not to address the travesty. Susanna tries constantly to escape her past and find happiness in the now, in a frenzy of confusion with a total stranger. The theme of religion and sin is predominant throughout the play, including its very Biblical title. These characters are constantly thinking about how to live a good Christian life and seek God’s forgiveness.

The blossoming but innocent and deep feelings between Gertie and Susanna come to an abrupt halt, when Waincey returns from the war due to a leg injury. The two ladies have to go back to living their lives just as sisters-in-law. These emotions are especially candid. Gertie and Susanna become comfortable with expressing their new feelings, but have to give them all up and pretend to be who they really aren’t.

The actors are so close to the edge of the stage which makes the setting more intimate. The set consists of a cabin with a porch, and a hill to the side with the graves of Gertie’s parents: a constant reminder. Some pieces of the set were placed right in front of the audience, like during the religious meeting scene when the “congregation” sits with the audience and says their lines. This makes the dialogue more intense.

The tragic ending with Susanna’s suicide is very symbolic. She never truly had the strength to face her inner conflicts and the lurking demons of her past. Undressing down to her underwear symbolizes her shedding of the past, and her way to freedom where she cannot be hurt anymore. Gertie buries Susanna and says her goodbyes. She and her brother move to a big city to start a new life: in the end, they only have each other.

Look With Your Dating Eyes

I came of age as a gay man in the era of online dating. In 2007, it seemed silly to have online dating profiles when at 19, when I was going to parties and clubs all over New Jersey, and New York. I Encountered hundreds of men, who were both cute and not cute, on a dancefloor, at a bar, random house party, or in a hotel or casino, but that didn’t necessarily mean those men were good material for a potential mate. There were only a few openly gay guys on my college campus where I spent most of my time, so some of my close girl friends convinced me to start the process for making an online dating profile. How nerve wrecking! To be 19 and have to describe oneself as a partner. Luckily I’ve always been an old soul. One of my friends was Jewish, and thought it would be a good idea for me to find a nice Jewish man. Consequently, I may have been the only Italian on Jdate. 

How naïve I was. At the time I had only been out for a year so I didn’t have much experience with dating men. I was also rather sheltered until the age of 18. Then suddenly being on the nightlife scene in one of the most lively cities in the world was so exciting, but so very empty. In terms of meaningful conversation and interaction I met some nice guys through dating sites, some of whom I ended up in relationships with: these were mostly from Match and Plenty of Fish. How thrilling it was to get a message from someone who was interested; it was a whole new world. I was so smitten then, and so idealistic with a very lengthy and detailed profile. I was of course discouraged to see how many men didn’t put the same amount of effort into their profiles. It seemed that most of them didn't see the point of having paragraphs and lists of information. This was the perfect, convenient excuse to segue from dating sites to apps. 

Then along came Grindr…Everything changed with the advent of Grindr. The match game suddenly became a meat market. Not a lower caliber, but much less of a serious expectation when it came to actually going on dates. So much less information was required for a profile which made small talk harder for so many men. I became an adult while having this app, with newly acquired access to hungry men all over the place of all ages, races, and backgrounds. This was the first round of this app when I initially got a smartphone in 2009. It was an awkwardly exposed new world: you’re on the dancefloor and a guy across the club can see your photos and read about you without even saying hello. A socially-inept population was forming before our eyes, with these men being too nervous, or shy to just come over and say, ‘Hi, would you like to dance?’ At this time I was still brazen enough to ask beautiful men to dance with me. Who wasn’t at 21? Two years later, the one time I didn’t bring my phone out with me to a club in Hell’s Kitchen, was when a very sweet man with an adorable southern accent asked me to dance. It was like I belonged to a former time and place once again. I ended up dating him twice in a ten year period. But I digress. I met my current partner through Grindr, what a good and unexpected find. All in all, dating sites and apps have been very good to me, during such a transitional time of amorous navigation. 

What We Wear

He couldn’t remember the last time he purchased clothing that wasn’t from a thrift store. This excluded socks and underwear, and the two times he brought a bathing suit. Wearing only second-hand clothes became a goal once he moved to New York City, having noticed the abundance of homeless people in tattered clothes even on the coldest of winter days. While attending classes in the Parsons building, he asked questions about the garment materials used, and what happens to clothing that is manufactured but doesn't sell. These questions seemed of little consequence to the students, or the alumni who helped them get the exposure they needed as new designers. He wondered then if these questions came up in any of the class lectures. The world inside this stunningly bold building didn’t reflect the reality which plagued all around. 

So much has changed in ten years; there are signs of hope for the future of sustainable fashion. A new generation of conscious people have awoken to these horrors. He still doesn't believe in shopping retail, and he doesn’t  believe in high fashion. He’s been told how well dressed he is for years, and the best part is knowing that any given outfit cost him under $20. It’s disenchanting to realize that the world isn’t up to par with what we believe, and how not everyone does their part to help our planet.  

He loves to learn something new each day. One of the most eye-opening experiences of his life was seeing photos from an article about a wasteland for unused clothing in Chile. A mountain of new clothing. Why on earth weren’t these clothes distributed to the millions of people who can’t afford them? Why are they just sitting in a mound to waste away? Why were so many ordered and made in the first place? He went to a second-hand clothing store that day. It’s very refreshing to walk into Philly AIDS Thrift and see racks of clothes that will be given a second, third, even nineth life. 

The next question to ask is how factories around the world are using energy to produce clothing. Are they using clean energy at all? Should Co2 indeed be regulated by governments as a form of pollution? For many people, this is a leap back to chemistry class in thinking of the effects of greenhouse gasses. This thought process is a far one from simply purchasing a new item of clothing, but they are so very much related. 

As he felt each article of clothing on the vintage rack of the thrift store, he pondered: Which countries are leaders in using clean energy and which are failing? He briefly felt guilty for not buying something made from organic materials, but wearing vintage clothing that is worn until it falls apart made more sense to him than buying something new that isn't made of organic materials. With a sigh of relief, his purchase was a small gesture to counteract that mountain of unused clothing.